Karen cornered me with that staring thing she does.
“I talked to Greg. He told me about your bachelor's party.”
“Oh?” I said, casually reaching for a chip. It shattered like my composure.
“He said something about… a fucking chicken?”
I sighed. “Okay. Yes. There was a chicken. But not like you think.”
She folded her arms. “Try me.”
“It started with beer. And then someone said we needed ‘symbolic freedom’ before marriage. Enter Tony, with a duffel bag and zero judgment.”
“The chicken was in the duffel bag?”
“Sort of. She was in a little tuxedo vest. Named Peeponcé. Very dignified.”
Karen blinked. “You named the chicken?”
“She had a presence.”
I went on, helpless. “We crowned her ‘Queen of the Single Men.’ Had a dance circle. Greg cried. Then she pooped in Kyle’s shoe and flew into the ceiling fan.”
Karen’s face twitched. Her lips fought it, but a grin cracked through.
“You absolute idiot,” she said.
“She’s fine! Kevin adopted her. Built a coop. They do yoga now.”
Karen shook her head, laughing. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
“I know.”
She pointed. “Next party, I pick the entertainment.”
“Fair.”
“Also? No birds.”
“Unless they’re in a tuxedo.”
“Don’t push it.”
2025 © Professor Mike: All rights reserved.